Guillermo Del Torro's Pinocchio

SnarkAI Score: 65/100

tldr:

While the puppets are beautiful and the stop-motion animation is impressive, the plot seems disjointed and confusing at times. The dark themes and mature content may not be suitable for younger audiences, despite the film's appearance. The review also mentions inconsistencies and unexplained plot points that may detract from the overall viewing experience. However, the film does have its entertaining moments and unique visuals, making it worth a watch for those interested in the genre.

Our Scores are generated by SnarkAI's analysis of our reviewer's writing. The tldr sumary is drafted by SnarkAI based on that review. All Images are AI generated based on the reviewers descriptions of scenes.

If you like Zombie Rabbits, jokes about autopsies and little wooden boys with ADHD this may be the film for you.

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Produced amazingly by the Jim Henson Company, this film is set in Mussolini's Italy and directed by Del Toro, so you know it's going to be a weird ride. It's an odd film; it looks like it's aimed at kids, but it's dark, odd, and mature.

Ewan McGregor narrates as Sebastian J Cricket, a pompous moustachioed traveler who once studied law and loved to sail. Not going to lie, the J makes it feel more than a little targeted... Though he does only have a moustache, not a full beard, and he is a cricket.

The puppets are beautiful, almost like china (though the stone statues are like stone), but the stop-motion seems to not be well-handled by my TV's upscaling, so things can get a bit jaggy.

Everyone loves Gepetto and his son in this charming town, but in the corners of the scenes, you see the poverty and desperation from the war, isolated as they are, dogs, little more than skin and bones.

Naturally, the church is huge and well-appointed, with a new masterpiece Jesus carved by Gepetto. The priest is decked in gold, watching the boy with hungry eyes.

His son dies in a pinecone and laziness-related tragedy that is very Del Toro and his sense of weirdness and pathos.

Drunk and angry at a God who is not listening, Gepetto carves a boy from wood with a hole in his heart, nails in his back, and a knot for hair. It's starkly different from his other perfect carvings.

The Guardian is terrifying. Four wings, a thousand eyes, and a tail. They look after the small things. The forgotten.

Pinocchio stands and moves like a spider or a flailing automaton. It's fantastic. He breaks into a Disney-style song, jarring with Gepetto's terror in the background as the bizarre boy destroys his home.

The townsfolk react exactly like small townsfolk would seeing a living puppet, saying "it's an abomination" or "it's a demon."

His nose grows like a tree branch, which is a nice touch. As is him mimicking the other boy. (Who's a right little shitbag)

There's a very evil monkey who's also apparently in charge of marketing and talent scouting (slavery), oh, and later, we find out he's a master puppeteer.

The circus master has hair like Wolverine.

Pinocchio is unable to understand why wooden Jesus is loved by the town, and he's hated, which is low-key hilarious.

Pinocchio has absolutely zero impulse control and no understanding of consequences. Pinocchio sounds like Bingo. (Circus, I'm not going to the Circus!)

Zombie rabbits carrying a coffin then playing cards. Somewhere Tim Burton is seething with envy.

The Sphinx is also kinda horrifying.

The autopsy is great: "I'm afraid there is nothing that can be done. His body is already rigid!" "It's always been rigid; he's made of wood!"

He finally gets a sense of consequence and takes it to the extreme, running away with the circus to save his father from poverty. Gepetto follows him, realising what he has lost.

Pinocchio is immortal, forever respawning but spending more time each death in the land of the dead with the Sphinx until finally, the suns burn out.

The training camp Pinocchio goes to learn to be a soldier has a giant M for its entrance. M for Mussolini.

I'm not sure Del Toro intended to make training to be a fascist child soldier seem like amazing fun, but he absolutely did. There are paintball games and obstacle courses and camaraderie. There's then a whole dark execution bit, but it can't always be fun.

It's unexplained why the circus master is just hanging around the training facility ready to abduct Pinocchio when the base explodes, which he couldn't possibly be expecting.

He then crucifies him because Del Toro is nothing if not inconsistently Catholic.

The monkey saves him. Then they get eaten by a monster. But Gepetto was in there too, which is handy.

I'm not sure the physics of the monster's sneeze or the branch climbing or the motor tail really holds up to scrutiny, but we'll forgive it.

After all that, Pinocchio gets eaten again.

Pinocchio tries to commit suicide to save his father and friend but does a bad job at it initially, then does really well at it.

Things spend a lot of time blowing up in this film.

He may or may not be immortal anymore, but he does outlive everyone he knows before re-entering the world.